RuPaul's Drag Race’s Exec Producer & a GLAAD Awards Nominated Blogger Both De-friended Me from Facebook for Simply Sending Them This Article: 11 Ways Men Can Be Better Feminist Allies

Last month, days after the transsexual community and allies started a boycott against RuPaul's Drag Race due to RuPaul misgendering and bullying women of transsexual history in a recent episode, I thought I'd let one of the show's executive producers and a GLAAD Award nominated blogger (both of who were 'friends' of mine of Facebook, both who are gay white men and both who have offended many women in my community in the past) what was behind the public outcry against RuPaul's anti-transsexual comments.

I sent them a non-offensive article written by Ozy Franz that I had found online, which is a resource to help men who seem to be clueless as to why why women get fed up with misgendering and sexism.

The same day I tagged both men this much needed advice they each deleted me from Facebook. And that is their right. Yet I'm not sure why they were so upset about the opportunity to actually educate themselves on how they could treat the women in my community better, especially the RuPaul's Drag Race producer, who's company (World of Wonder) and himself have many times participated in projects which exploit and demean the women in my community. Well, either the truth hurts, they didn't want their followers to read up on being better feminists or, like the national LGB media outlets, they wanted to censor the dissent of transsexual community altogether. Whatever the reason, I thought I'd repost the article on my blog so that more people can understand why women of transsexual history are fed up with some gay men thinking they can get away with bullying us.

11 Ways Men Can Be Better Feminist Allies
by Ozy Frantz

Originally posted on: http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/details/2012-07-11-ways-men-can-be-better-feminist-allies

1) Educate yourself. One summer, in high school, I literally read every book the library had about feminism. You don’t have to go that far, but a familiarity with concepts like male privilege, slut-shaming, and rape culture can give you a lot more understanding of how gender works.

2) Don’t be that asshole. Don’t assume that the women in the room have no idea what they’re talking about regarding gender. (If they clearly don’t, well, see #4.) Don’t expect to be thrown a parade because you’ve decided to vote pro-choice. Don’t forget that most men are not feminists and that many feminists are survivors of rape or abuse, and that you’re not sending out Beacons of Awesomeness that show that everyone has to trust you. Check your privilege.

3) Talk to your male friends. It’s sad but true: For a lot of people, men have more credence when talking about gender issues than women do. If your friend tells a rape joke or says that women just aren’t as good at science as men are, challenge them on it. A lot of times, people can’t think of anything to say in the moment; if that’s you, prepare comebacks in advance so you know exactly what to say when it comes up. Even if you forget in the moment, a simple “that’s not cool, dude” can go a long way.

4) Challenge your female friends. A lot of people say that men shouldn’t tell women when they’re being misogynistic. That’s crap. There are plenty of sexist women in the world and they should not get a free pass. If your friend starts snarking about a fat woman or saying that she’s so much better than all those silly other women that are only concerned about their hair and boys, tell her she’s full of it. Other women will thank you.

5) Consume media made by women. A lot of people listen to music made by men, read books written by men, watch movies directed by and starring men—without even realizing it. That’s stupid! It neglects women’s voices and experiences; besides, think of all the amazing talent you’re missing because of their gender. If you like comics, try Alison Bechdel or Gail Simone; if you like movies, look for Kathryn Bigelow or the late Nora Ephron; if you appreciate music, add some Bikini Kill or Nicki Minaj to your playlists.

6) Practice good consent. The general rule is that all sex should be sex that everyone involved wants. I know you, personally, would never have sex with someone who said no, but good consent goes far beyond that. Talk openly and honestly with your partner(s) about your and their sexual desires. Check in when your partner seems to not be enjoying themselves. Eschew pressure and coercion. And the same applies to you—if you’re being pressured or coerced or not having your consent respected, you are not in a healthy relationship.

7) Believe the survivor. It’s true that occasionally people falsely accuse other people of rape or abuse. This is very rare, however, and time spent figuring out the truth is time not spent supporting the survivor. Also, if there is a rapist or abuser in your social group, don’t take “I don’t do drama” as a reason to keep hanging out with them. Not being invited to parties is not a cruel and unusual punishment, and most rapists are repeat rapists. You can keep them from doing it again.

8) Support women’s bodily autonomy. On a political level, of course, one should fight pro-life initiatives, attempts to de-fund Planned Parenthood, forced sterilization efforts, etc. On a personal level, of course, it’s almost more important. If your partner gets pregnant, it’s up to her whether to have an abortion, give the child up for adoption, or raise the kid. Her body, her rules. If a woman is having sex with hundreds of people, don’t call her a dirty slut; if she’s a virgin until marriage, don’t call her a prude. Her body, her rules. If she weighs more than you think she should, don’t call her fat or tell her to go on a diet; if she weighs less, don’t tell her to eat a sandwich. It’s her body and, ultimately, what makes her comfortable in it is what matters.

9) Be a feminist because you support equal rights. Don’t become a feminist because you want to get a girlfriend or because you heard that feminist chicks are easy. Don’t become a feminist because your girlfriend is a feminist and you want to get in good with her. Don’t, for God’s sake, take women’s studies classes because it’s an easy A. Become a feminist because you believe women are people and you will not be satisfied until they are fully treated as such.

10) Be intentional. Maybe it’s best for your family that your wife sacrifice her career to raise kids. But is it really, or are you just assuming that because it’s the narrative you’re used to? Maybe you’re only attracted to 22-year-old blonde skinny women. But are you really, or have you simply not explored your attraction to other people? It’s OK to do things that look anti-feminist to outsiders...as long as it is honestly what you want, and not just falling into the patriarchal rut because you haven’t thought about the other options.

11) Don’t satisfy yourself with just being a feminist. If you are just a feminist, you’re only advocating for the rights of women—which means that you’re advocating for the rights of straight, white, abled, middle-to-upper-class, privileged women. Everyone else? They suffer from racism, queerphobia, ableism, or classism in addition to sexism. Fighting for those rights means fighting for everyone’s rights.

Ozy Frantz is a student at a well-respected Hippie College in the United States. Zie bases most of zir life decisions on Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman; identifies more closely with Pinkie Pie than is probably necessary; and blogs at No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz?

To the gay male TV and film producers who like to defame the women in my community, and to the gay male dominated 'LGBT' media outlets and 'LGBT' media watch dogs who like to censor our dissent against this defamation:

'Hunger Games' Star, Josh Hutcherson, Supports Transsexual Education Rally In Defying GLAAD's Erasure Of Saying The Word 'Transsexual'

GLAAD's 2012 Media Awards winner, Josh Hutcherson , star of 'The Hunger Games', joins MAGNET supporters and defies GLAAD's rule "only say transgender, never say transsexual" at GLAAD's very own awards in which he was being honored!

“My mom has always been a big advocate, especially in the gay, lesbian, transsexual and bisexual community, so for me it’s always been a part of my soul,” Josh Hutcherson told Eonline.

This is very telling of the recent trend of the younger generations being more aware of stories and images of people born with the medical condition transsexualism who transition just to live their lives as the women and men they know they are. Therefore, the result is less transsexual-phobia with these younger generations. They don't see us as "third gender, cross dressers, drag queens" or any other "transgender" expression or lifestyle. They see us as just women and men. In short, they understand and support the transsexual narrative, not this othering and misgendering "one size fits all" transgender ideology.


We are thrilled that GLAAD has not entirely succeeded in censoring out the word transsexual from society, especially outside and inside their very own GLAAD Awards.

We are not "transgender". Our condition is not a lifestyle, drag show or fetish. We were born with chromosomal and anatomy diversity, and our affirming doctors aide us in aligning our bodies with our mind. We are born with transsexualism, and some of us are intersex as well. It's  time GLAAD stopped brushing us into some "transgender" reservation. We will not be colonized into a gender deconstructionism agenda against our will. That's a violation of our patient rights, as well as constitutional rights. We are women and men, and will not be segregated from other women and men into some third gender narrative just because of our birth challenge.  Segregation is illegal. All we ask is that GLAAD represent us accurately.

Congrats Josh, thanks for supporting the cause!
 
For information on MAGNET's education rally which was held at The GLAAD Awards this Saturday evening: http://themagnetsource.blogspot.com/2012/04/magnet-hold-education-rally-outside.html 

ABC Cancels 'Work It'. Now If Only GLAAD & HRC's Transsexual-phobia, Hypocrisy, Inaccuracies & Constant Misgendering Could Also Be Cancelled!

Yesterday ABC cancelled the controversial sitcom 'Work It'.

I couldn't care less about this development.

What I do care about however is accuracy. GLAAD and HRC's sensational campaign against the show was unfounded. The show itself was degenerate and with a weak premise, but not for the reasons HRC or GLAAD said in their misguided and disingenuous campaign against the show. The show was about two cross dressing men, it wasn't about women with transsexualism. Yet these organizations saw the show as an opportunity to get on a soap box and appear to be doing work on our behalf by protesting it.

This couldn't be farther from the truth.

If these organizations were sincere in their reasoning for protesting the show, and if their reasons were legitmate, then why are they not protesting the hit Tyler Perry film series Madea? Or Big Momma? Or Ru Paul’s Drag Race? Or the fact that right down the street from GLAAD’s New York office the star of Broadway's Peter Pan is being played by a woman? It’s because like Work It, none of these shows are actually claiming to be stories about people with transsexualism.

GLAAD's weak excuse for unwarrantedly associating the medical condition transsexualism to the show’s plot about two cross dressing men is that "many viewers unfamiliar with the realities of being transgender will still make the connection." Hmm, actually, the only reason society is “making the connection” between cross dressing males and women with transsexualism is because GLAAD’s website and employees guide, and even demand, that they do so! In GLAAD's very own words written in their media (mis)guide they themselves misinform the public that women with transsexualism are the same label (transgender) as cross dressing male fetishists, gay male drag stage acts and gender deconstructionists. Hypocrisy much? Unbelievable! Then they have the nerve to have their pot call a kettle black. (Though in the case of 'Work It', the show was not misgendering us, it was just a stupid show about straight male drag queens). It’s BS politics on their part. If GLAAD thoroughly cared about our public perception they would stop misrepresenting and invalidating transsexual Americans.

And HRC is in no place to act as a protector of a minority they themselves have harmed in legislation repetitively, and are continuing to do so.

In GLAAD's and HRC's advertisement against the film that they placed in Varity Magazine they used a photo of controversial HRC board [token trans tom] member Meghan Stabler as a "trans model", yet just months ago Stabler sold out the transsexual community by becoming legally male in Texas just to marry, which is way more of a mockery and threat to our well-being and rights then 'Work It'. Stabler’s betrayal of the transsexual movement upset numerous respected transsexual and transgender leaders in Texas and nationally.

I haven't publicly commented once on this silly and dangerous spectacle of a campaign against Work It until today because the campaign was a mockery of our medical condition, misled the public into thinking that cross dressing was the same thing as being born with a legitimate transsexual medical condition recognized by the American Medical Association and the campaign obviously was just for show.

The campaign did more to correlate male cross dressing with transsexualism then the show did, just like GLAAD’s media guide, which HRC and all the other LGB”t” organizations deem as sacred. GLAAD and HRC need to "work it" out them damn selves and stop miseducating the public about transsexual issues.

We as women born with transsexualism are not transvestite fetishists, Halloween dress uppers or third gender separatists. We are women, and would appreciate it if GLAAD would stop denying us our medical legitimacy by misgendering and mocking our realities.

The bullying and misrepresentation of the transsexual medical condition by homosexual organizations is malpractice, transsexual-phobia and fraud.

Will GLAAD ever reform their media guide? Or will they continue to treat us as a vote-less colony?

GLAAD Says The Huffington Post is "Reinforcing Gay Stereotypes", But What About GLAAD Reinforcing Misrepresentation of Transsexual Medical Condition?!

GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) is protesting The Huffington Post for "reinforcing gay stereotypes", but what about GLAAD reinforcing misrepresentation concerning the transsexual medical condition?

GLAAD makes a lot of people with transsexualism SAAD and MAAD due to GLAAD's BAAD miseducation about transsexual issues.

"Do unto others what thee shall have done unto you"

In full disclosure, I do write occasionally on The Huffington Post about transsexual, transgender and intersex issues, but that is not why I’m writing this blog post. I'm writing on this 'GLAAD protests The HuffPost’ story just to point out GLAAD's hypocrisy. As a member of the transsexual and intersex communities, I personally suffer the consequences of GLAAD misrepresenting the transsexual medical condition

For almost twenty years GLAAD has sought to erase the term transsexual from existence and replace it with transgender. I'm sorry (actually, I’m not sorry), but what does a heterosexual married man who is a transvestite once a month, a gay male drag queen who makes fun of women on stage and a gender queer activist have to do with a woman who has a transsexual medical condition? Absolutely nothing. Yet according to GLAAD's intellectually dishonest and lazy grouping of numerous groups of people they don’t understand, they are all inaccurately labeled as "transgender" and tossed in a 3rd gender reservation. This provides numerous problems for women and men of transsexual history.

GLAAD needs to stop ignoring us. I am already hearing reports that some people in the transsexual community are getting ready to press charges in court against GLAAD if they keep up their identity theft, misinformation and transsexual-phobic media guide

We are done being misgendered, objectified, erased, mocked and disrespected by GLAAD's media (mis)guide. We are fed up with them endangering our well-being. We are sick of them implying we are the same thing as a man in a dress. And we are through with them denying our medical condition it's valid legitimacy and accurate narrative.

So the gays and lesbians (no transsexual people work there, yet they think they can (mis)speak for us) who work at GLAAD don't like how it feels when they feel people are being homophobic? Well then, they need to understand that is exactly how the transsexual-phobia in their media guide and GLAAD enforcing "transgender umbrella ideology as fact whether transsexual people like it or not" makes us feel.

What's it going to be GLAAD? Will you continue to aid the religious far right, radical feminist lesbians who are anti-transsexual and discriminatory insurance/health care companies in misgendering us?

Hypocrisy much?

Read the following articles that explain more in depth why GLAAD's media guide is very problematic and inaccurate pertaining to the transsexual medical condition:

"GLAAD Media Guide Reform — It's Time." by Andrea Rosenfield
http://www.ts-si.org/science-news/28585

'GLAAD – Stop calling us transgender' by Dana Lane Taylor
http://www.ts-is-liberation.org/blog/2011/05/21/glaad-stop-calling-us-transgender/

'Transgender Inc and GLAAD' by Suzan Cooke of 'Women Born Transsexual'
http://womenborntranssexual.com/2011/01/25/transgender-inc-and-glaad/

'Why GLAAD Doesn’t Represent Me' by Suzan Cooke
http://womenborntranssexual.com/2011/06/11/why-glaad-doesn%E2%80%99t-represent-me/

'Yvonne Cook Riley Confesses Inventing “Transgender” to Erase Transsexuality' by Cathryn Platine
http://radicalbitch.wordpress.com/2011/08/16/yvonne-cook-riley-confesses-inventing-transgender-to-erase-transsexuality-to-skin-transvestite-weiss/

'The Death of the 'Transgender' Umbrella' by Mercedes Allen
http://www.bilerico.com/2011/06/the_death_of_transgender.php

2nd Annual GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising

The 2nd Annual GLAAD Media Awards in Advertising were held at the Hyatt Hotel in Manhattan this year. Many LGBT community leaders, allies and celebrities came out to show their support for LGBT positive images including Bryan Batt, Bethenny Frankel, Andy Cohen, Chely Wright, Christine Quinn and many more.

I’ve noticed a trend in the last ten years of more and more brands incorporating the LGBT community into their media campaigns. I see many ads of LGBT families in magazines. In numerous cities I have seen same sex couples, parents and families on billboards, which is something that would have been a really big deal in years past. Times are changing in the media world in a way that is more inclusive and celebratory of diversity. Its really nice to see us looking back at us!

That's right, more companies are realizing that the LGBT community is a thriving community that has a lot more to contribute to society then just the artistic talents and creativity that they are stereotypically known for. The LGBT demographic is actually a big international consumer market, and is only getting larger!

Many fashion houses are beginning to use transsexual women models who are open with their medical condition in their advertising campaigns, such as Givenchy hiring the transsexual model (soon to be super model) named Lea T. There has been many transsexual female fashion and beauty models since forever, but the majority of them have been pressured by society’s prejudice to not disclose their birth challenge status to their employers for fear of abandonment, which is why Lea T having such a warm welcome from the fashion industry is very hopeful and monumental (she has since been on the cover of Vogue Italia and has had additional jobs).

The top awards of the night were the Public Visibility Award, which went to ad critic Bob Garfield for his commitment to advocating for the LGBT community in the advertising world (in Garfield’s acceptance speech he talked about how he publicly called out ads which promoted bullying and homophobia), and the Corporate Responsibility Award went to American Airlines for their pioneering inclusion. (See video below of Chely Wright presenting American Airlines with their award).



GLAAD’s president Jarrett Barrios said at the awards, "Tonight's honorees, nominees and award recipients have set new industry standards which underline the value of [LGBT] consumers. More and more companies are moving toward ads that reflect truly reflect all people and learning that LGBT people should be accepted and respected, not only for their potential buying power, but for their contribution to the American cultural fabric. While LGBT representation on TV continues to grow, the advertising industry has not yet fully embraced our community. Tonight's nominees and honorees have set new benchmarks in the industry and continue to lead the way in fair, accurate and inclusive LGBT representation in advertising."

To see the rest of the winners of the awards please check out GLAAD’s press release: https://www.glaad.org/releases/092910adawards

Out country music star Chely Wright *

Ashley Love, GLAAD President Jarrett Barrios, William Kapfer *

Ashley Love, Mad Men's Bryan Batt hosted the awards, Lorna Kelly

Acclaimed advertising critic Bob Garfield (right) is presented the Public Visibility Award from Barbara Lippert, Editor-at-Large of Adweek

Wells Fargo won the Outstanding Interactive Campaign award, which was accepted by Candace McCullom, VP, Brand and Advertising Manager (far right)

with Christine Quinn (speaker of NYC City Council)

with IBM's Yvette Burton (former president of GLAAD's board)

GLAAD's staff have a group hug :)

with GLAAD's Jovan Carrington

with GLAAD's Johhny Angel Gonzales

with Bravo's Andy Cohen

with Marvette Britto

with GLAAD's Richard Ferraro

* photo credit: Kelsy Chauvin

The rest of the photos are the property of Trans Forming Media and Ashley

CNN's "Gary & Tony Have A Baby" Premieres tonight!

Talking to Gary & Tony and their adorable baby Nicholas

Tonight @ 8pm CNN's continues thier "In America" series with "Gary & Tony Have A Baby". Last week I went to GLAAD and CNN's screening of the documentary, and got to meet the happy and loving family. It was a very touching and well done piece. I would rather have two loving, attentitive gay parents, then two unhappy, workaholic "straight" parents on their 3rd divorce each, just sayin'.

CNN's Solidad O'Brian (no, we're not sisters, but I wish we were!)
w/ my friends Cindi Creager (GLAAD) and her wife Rainie Cole

All the panelists after the screening

Gary, Tony, their baby Nicholas, and GLAAD'S ED Jarrett Barrios

GLAAD Responds To Silly & Untrue Accusations of "Trans Gate", and Still Stands by their Petition that Defends Transwomen!

Latest on the Call to Action updated March 26, 2010

GLAAD’s Call to Action asks that Tribeca not give a platform to a film that sensationalizes anti-transgender violence and misrepresents the lives of transgender women. When Tribeca announced its film selections, almost immediately GLAAD received numerous emails from upset transgender advocates asking GLAAD to speak out.


In just one day, over 800 community members and straight allies have sent e-mails to the Tribeca Film Festival voicing their concerns about the film and opposition to its selection for this year’s festival.


Last month, GLAAD was asked to meet with the director and cast members prior to seeing the movie to educate them about transgender terminology and issues facing the transgender community. During that meeting, GLAAD was not shown the film and voiced strong concerns about the title and the use of the word "tranny." While the word is used by some, it is largely an insult that is offensive to many transgender people. The filmmaker has elected to keep it, despite its potential offense.

At the time of the meeting, the film didn’t have a distributor or any major platform. Every year countless independent films are made and most remain unreleased. Showing at the Tribeca Film Festival offers the film a national space to spread its inaccurate message to thousands. It is because of this platform and the recognition it provides that we are standing with many in the community and raising our voices.

When GLAAD watched the film screener and trailer, we were immediately concerned about not just the title, but the film’s content and its exploitation of transgender victims Angie Zapata and Jorge Mercado in its trailer.


In a recent interview the filmmaker admits, “I agree that the baseball bat and the clumps of hair on the baseball bat are very disturbing…” This sort of violence is played for cheap laughs in the film.


Filmmakers have the right to pursue his or her vision. However, film festivals and other media distributors have the responsibility to consider the consequences of advancing that vision.


GLAAD hopes that an institution as respected as the Tribeca Film Festival would be concerned about how this film trivializes violence against transgender people, concerns that the filmmaker has repeatedly shrugged off.


In the wake of this outcry, GLAAD and many other transgender advocates ask that Tribeca rescind its selection of “Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives.”“Negative and stereotyped media portrayals of transgender people hurt the community because Americans still need more education on transgender issues,” said Kim Person, Executive Director of TransYouth Family Allies. "The images in this film make a mockery of their lives. I want more for my child and all transgender people.”

About GLAAD
The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) is dedicated to promoting and ensuring fair, accurate and inclusive representation of people and events in the media as a means of eliminating homophobia and discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation.
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