Monday, June 4, 2012

Don't Means Don't: The Ten Don'ts of Don't

Don't Means Don't:
The Ten Don'ts of Don't

Don’t hate me because I’m feminine.

Don’t fear me because I am aligned with the gender binary

Don’t judge or resent me because I am perceived by the world as a woman, period

Don’t censor me because I am a heterosexual woman of transsexual and intersex experience

Don’t bully me because you won’t have a gentle and rational debate

Don’t misgender me to cater to your social engineering and gender deconstructionism agenda

Don’t cast me into a 3rd gender narrative because you may identify in the ‘gender queer’ culture

Don’t desex me because you have internalized and unchecked transsexual-phobia which you act upon

Don’t sinisterly put words in my mouth because my truth unedited is valid and exposes your concoted falsehoods and unjust politics

Don’t, just PLEASE Don't miss the opportunity to discover what a true ally could be (which does not mean colonialist). Allies are better than frenemies


  1. I would call myself an "ally", for sure. I am...puzzled by what you refer to as your "intersex experience".
    I'd be interested.

  2. There is definitely a distinct asymmetry of phobia against feminine women/girls of transsexual or intersex experience, where there is no desire to be openly 'trans' as 'trans-women', but as just women. Natural, whole, but atypical women.
    Whereas masculine men/boys of transsexual or intersex experience are often embraced (by women of any culture/space, queer or lesbian or even gay), which allows such men to be openly 'trans-men', self-identifying as any identity they want as men.

    I've also come across the distinct discouragement, exclusion, shutting out, shunning of such women of transsexual or intersex experience who want to be their natural feminine selves by typical women of no such background experience unless such women 'de-feminize' themselves so they are 'queer butch dykes', and stand out as 'less femme' than their non-trans/intersex counterparts, in order to allow them to be 'accepted as queer women' instead. That is OPPRESSIVE, demeaning, disrespectful, and MANIPULATIVE of such women.

    I had gone to a group meeting in GTA (Toronto, Canada) where there was a 'cumming together' of 'cis-trans-queer' women to discuss why 'trans-women' are misunderstood or kept curb-side 'out-the-door', from interacting/relating more intimately amongst all other women. They face expectations to have their bodies altered, just so they can be accepted, and even when they do re-align their bodies to a 'typical-majority-conformed' sexual state, they are expected to be 'butch-dykes', with the short hair, and be forbidden from being feminine women. Such queer-culture so called 'cis' (offensive to some natal vaginal females) and 'trans' (offensive to MANY natal penile females, as well as 'neo' conformed neo-vaginal females) want to put us into some 'box' which is 'non-real-females', when WE ARE JUST THAT, FEMALES.
    Being a feminine female is not unusual any more than being a masculine male is unusual.


  3. There are too many non transsexual gender queer people who try to make feminine trans women be gender queer,as well as trying to tell people that they don't need surgeries as it is just a 'learnt conformist' thing. They have no idea and are conformist themselves.

    Good job to Ashley here standing up for transsexual respect.

  4. You sound like a fun penpal to have :3