Thursday, December 16, 2010

OK, I give up, you're right, I'm just a "tra**y", sorry for thinking I was a human being

An open letter to everyone who uses the anti-transsexual woman slur “tra**y”, to the jerk who called my friend a tra**y when she went on the bus to go to work and ruined her day, to the non-trans straight girl who called a girl she didn’t like a “tra**y” to imply she was ugly, to the hate crime assailant who called his trans victim a tra**y as he bashed her near to death, to the gay man who called his friend a “stupid tra**y” because he spilled his drink on him, to the transphobic gay man who called an effeminate gay man a tra**y because he thought masculine acting gay men were somehow “better” than feminine acting gay men, to the gay male director who sought to exploit trans women and put the pejorative in the title of his film, to the late night talk show hosts who make fun of trans women on TV and use the T word, but actually used to be in love with a trans woman behind the scenes, to the radical feminist lesbian who helps plan the Michigan Music Festival and was quoted as saying “no fucking tra**ys allowed”, to the gay male drag queens who perform “trans face” and say the T word 20 times a night to make their gay audience laugh at the thought of real trans women being taken seriously, to the trans woman who performs campy burlesque and uses the T word in her act because she get paid to be the butt of her own jokes, to the fetishist and cross dressers who say the T Word to objectify the medical condition transsexualism, to the Village Voice flamboyant gay male journalists who don’t know the difference between drag queens and transsexual woman and are clueless as to why the T word hurts, to pop culture that has morphed the T word into a punch line that dehumanizes trans people, to the people who call trans people the T word to mis-gender them, to all the gay men and their girlfriends who think it’s “cool” and hip to say the T word,to the mean people who use the tra**y as an insult, to the actresses who think it’s okay to say the T word because their gay agent said its acceptable and their publicist said it would give them free press, to the gay male editors of trashy blogs who exploit this issue and think they have the authority to tell trans women to “lighten up” for protesting hate speech, to the trans people who have such low self-esteem that they accept the T word has a fake form of endearment:

OK, you’re right, I give up, I’m just a “tra**y”: subhuman, joke, object. I should just accept that you find my medical condition so uncomprehendable that you fear it. Sorry that I had the audacity to think the trans community could integrate their humanity into mainstream society and bring awareness to the stigma and harm that the T word inspires. I now accept that my birth challenge is nothing more than a punch line for non-trans people to make hateful pejoratives out of and then bully me when I cry out for understanding and respect. I will now resign myself to my cave that your hate, misogyny and transphobia has banished me to. It was silly of me to think that tra**ys deserved anything but marginalization, depression and crumbs. I guess if the LGB portion of the LGBTI community says the T word is okay, then where do transsexual and intersex people get off on wanting to speak for themselves? I promise not to speak anymore until spoken to. Your brutality, selfishness and insensitivity has beaten me, there is no more energy in my spirit to fight. I am moving back to the forest where I don’t have to put up with your bullshit reasons of why trans people have to accept this abuse. If you need a tra**y to hop around on your stage like a clown working for peanuts, you can find me in the leper colony where the tra**ys have been quarantined to. Goodbye, and good riddens, tra**y out.


  1. Very well put but I would add one more group you might want to address. To the hipster F2M that this tra**y is right of passage and a branding to be proud of tossing it gleefully at each other even though you never received the level of hate that comes with the word, even as it tears down your trans-sisters sitting all around you.

  2. "I'm sorry" are the first words that pop into my head and continue to circulate. But those two words mean nothing from me. Or perhaps they do, I don't know.

    I hate that you, and others, have gone through this and are continuing to go through it. I hate that the fear, anger, resentment, and jokes are there. I hate that you and others are made to feel this way. I hate that word; the sound of it grates against me. The meaning, the insinuation.

    And thank you, humanity, for proving to me yet again that that no matter what demographic you're a part of there is always someone you think you're better than.

  3. We should at least remove 'TI' from LGBTI because neither T nor I are 'sexual orientations', the former 3 which are (flexible changeable preferences), and the latter 2 are 'private'.

    acronym (alphabetically sequenced):

    Sexual Orientations:
    BGLS = Bi/Gay/Lesbian/Straight

    (A)sexual or reproductive body configurations:
    IMW = Intersexed/Müllerian/Wolffian

    Gender Identities (BGI (B = Brain))
    IFM = Intergendered/Male/Female

    Gender Expressions:
    AFMQ = Androgynous/Female/Male/Queer

    Gender Expressive Qualities:
    FM = Feminine/Masculine

    Hormonal Expressive Qualities:
    BET = Balanced/Estrogenic/Testosteronic


  4. Very well written letter I'm a MTF from Canada I have always hated the T word with she-male as a very close second they are demeaning

  5. Trans-Gender-Dynamic
    [better than 'Tra**y' (Tranny)]

    Cis-Gender-Static... Cis-Sexual-Static... Cis-Static
    [alternative to 'Ci**y' (Cissy); i made it up to keep the 'balance' of 'perjoratives]


  6. Also, "to the trans folk who think that embracing and espousing the word t***y is somehow empowering"...

  7. wOW, brought tears to my eyes. I think education is the key. Maybe time to get out from under the acronym umbrella and form a sister/brotherhood.

  8. About as well said as it can be. I thank you for something I can point people to -

    - to those who think I'm just a little too up tight about a word.

    Maybe this will help them understand something about which they know nothing.


  9. Ashley, I agree completely with what you say.

    Also the attacks on you on Pam's House Blend are completely out of line.

  10. The trouble with umbrella terms is that they start out covering various disparate groups that maybe share a single common trait or characteristic. They then end up co-mingling in all the other traits and characteristics of these different groups and we end up painting everyone under that umbrella with the same brush. So rather than having a brilliant rainbow under the umbrella, we all end up looking a rather yucky gray/brown color.

    I am sorry you have been silenced like this. In the broadness of the trans spectrum, surely there is room for ALL trans experiences and stories? And if so, that should include yours and others who feel as do you that. The ends of the spectrum should have as much rights of expression and respect as the middle as well as vice versa.

    Please do not stop the dialog, there has to be a common ground here that if we can but find it.

  11. I read from facebook the thought provoking article. I clicked on the links to sign up and your picture poped into my face. That necklace. I have an identical one.

  12. Excellent "open letter". Oh, of course words never matter. Sure, it's ok for someone to just call another person a pig, dog, skunk, T**ny, or anything right?...just a word....means nothing...certainly vitriol is never spewed via the spoken word like venomous poison from a snake....nah....can't be. Human, sub-human, don't matter. Words never represent images...they never serve to "sub-humanize" broad groups of people. Certainly, if Hitler had used the power of the word his "ultimate solution" would have been successful to the count of millions...oh I am sorry---this is exactly what he did! I have been wrong for 50 years....stupid me...thinking that words actually create images which in turn arouse emotion which leads to action....which deprives our brothers and sisters of their lives...oh one more thing...certainly our gay brethren would never ever disparage us by using the dreaded T word would they...just like the "straight" community...would they?...would they?

    It is long overdue that we unite under our own roof. Gay men love other men. Lesbian women love other women. Bisexual persons love either me or women. We who are or have undergone Gender Reassignment Transition love ourselves---finally. This is the one but redefining difference. Separation is not equal to hate. It is time to separate from LGBT....

  13. This brought tears to my eyes as it was so close to my experiences!! I still don't understand why we are part of the GLB folk!! We really have nothing in common other maybe being hated for being ourselves. But even then a lot of the GLB folks hate us as well!! It is difficult for me as I am also a lesbian! So I belong and I don't!! Even then I am not welcome to a lot of lesbian venues!!
    My reaction is to date other trans women!